Worst Outing Ever. Ever.

That is my Facebook status right now...

So, breaking my blog silence to write about poop. Yes, poop. Seems fitting, since I deal with it on a daily basis...two still in diapers and one who still needs some help in that area. (If you are grossed out now, stop reading, it only gets worse.)

Well, Grayson had soccer practice tonight. I have to take all the boys, since Chris doesn't get home until after practice starts. He comes to the practice, but we usually all just hang out there. Tonight I thought I would run to Target for a few things.

My first mistake...deciding to go to Target during practice instead of after the boys were in bed. Closely followed by my second mistake...asking Tate and Reed if they wanted to come with me or stay at practice. I really thought they would want to stay. Oh, well. Three has to be easier than four, right?

I just needed a few things...but in every corner of the store. So, I put Micah in my carrier (actually, Tami's carrier that I borrowed 3 years ago and haven't given back. Sorry!), and put the other two in one of those big two-kid carts. They took turns trying to get out of the cart, pestering each other, and singing songs together. Here's the thing about them singing...they are on a kick of changing out words in whatever song they are singing, to 'poop' or 'toot'...I shoulda known.

I moved as fast as I could and, for some reason, couldn't find a few things I was looking for! I would stand there and look, and just didn't find them. So, I moved on, but not after wasting some time looking! Another big mistake...not picking up some wipes. We had plenty at home to last till the next Target trip. And, I didn't want another big box to mess with.

I had finally gotten to the end of my list. One more item and then we were done. It was at this point when Micah, who had been unusually fussy, pooped. Not one of those loud, anyone within 10 feet could hear, either. I just felt and heard it because I was carrying him, or so I thought. I was a little annoyed because I would need to stop and change him before we left. But still, no big deal, we are almost done.

I turned around to push that big cart. Tate, then says (fairly calmly), "Yuck. You have poop on you."

Ugh. I'll now tell you that this has happened to me 3 out of the last 5 days...all outside my home. Poop on my jeans.

Then, Tate says (again, strangely calm), "and it's on the floor too."

Ugh. So, I go to get some wipes out of the bag to wipe up the floor...

No wipes. But, I did manage to dump everything out of my bag looking.

So, I use one of my favorite burp rags. Keep in mind, I am still "wearing" Micah. I can't even really see my pants...I don't know where the poop is or how much there is. And bending down is not the easiest thing to be doing. Especially with the whole poop issue.

The last item on my list is for a science experiment tomorrow. So, covered in poop, I grab some balloons. Then head all the way to the other side of the store to get some wipes. All along the way Tate is asking what are we going to do about all this poop!

I get the wipes, get through the line (still not knowing if people can see poop on me...and if they can, why are they not saying anything!!) and get that big cart into the family bathroom. That was easier than getting out what I needed and worry about someone taking my cart...the last thing I needed.

So, yep. Poop on my jeans. Poop on my shirt. Poop on my shirt under that shirt. Poop on Tami's carrier (again, Sorry!).

As I am cleaning both of us up, Reed keeps unlocking and opening the door! And, Tate keeps trying to "fix" the trash can hanging on the wall next to the TP...yes, that one.

I got us all cleaned up and home for baths. Next time, I'll go to Target by myself.

Oh, if you are wondering about the other times I was pooped on recently...

1. On Friday at McDonald's. Did you know that when you most need a changing table there will not be one? Sorry, lady who had to wash your hands while I changing my baby in between the two sinks!

2. On Saturday. At Grayson's soccer game. Did you also know that turf is full of little black rubber ball thingies? And, when you lay a naked baby on said turf those things will get all over him? They are not easy to get off.